1
00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:06,484
Hey, Mona, I brought your...

2
00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:07,791
Shh - I'm playing word whomp,

3
00:00:07,877 --> 00:00:10,007
and I'm about to
get the highest score.

4
00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:14,137
Yes! Nobody unscrambles
on the fly like me.

5
00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:16,971
Take it where
you can get it, sis.

6
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,540
Now, I will just type in

7
00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:19,847
my screen name.

8
00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:23,202
Curly mo. And... hey.

9
00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:24,554
I only got the second

10
00:00:24,633 --> 00:00:25,763
highest score.

11
00:00:25,851 --> 00:00:28,031
Some idiot named
Tiffany law beat me?

12
00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:30,195
That idiot is me.

13
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:31,941
Tiffany, my favorite
jewelry store.

14
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,902
Law, law student. Isn't it cute?

15
00:00:34,991 --> 00:00:36,121
No. I've been working to be

16
00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:38,210
number one on this for months.

17
00:00:38,299 --> 00:00:39,909
I know how you feel.

18
00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:41,606
One time I came in second,

19
00:00:41,693 --> 00:00:43,093
and it drove my crazy.

20
00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:44,653
But it just made me
wanna work harder

21
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,310
to be the best.

22
00:00:46,394 --> 00:00:47,314
Really?

23
00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:49,215
No, I made it up.

24
00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:52,010
I was the number one
storyteller in girl scouts.

25
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:59,024
♪ Through this
journey of discovery ♪

26
00:00:59,102 --> 00:01:03,722
♪ you're finding
you, I'm finding me ♪

27
00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:06,892
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪

28
00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:09,109
♪ who brings out the joy ♪

29
00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:09,979
♪ brings out the joy ♪

30
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:13,640
♪ inside of me ♪

31
00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:16,545
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪

32
00:01:16,641 --> 00:01:18,251
♪ all we need is lovin', yeah ♪

33
00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:21,729
♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪

34
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:23,430
♪ you and me ♪

35
00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:27,648
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪

36
00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:33,917
Good morning.

37
00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:35,006
Hey, man.

38
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,401
I finally built the perfect

39
00:01:36,487 --> 00:01:37,397
music library.

40
00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:38,398
Man, I got play lists to

41
00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:39,399
get dressed with,

42
00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:40,400
to workout with,

43
00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:41,511
and, my personal favorite,

44
00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:44,016
music to funk the ladies with.

45
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:47,804
Ew.

46
00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:49,980
All I have in my iPod
is some techno crap

47
00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:53,676
my ex-boyfriend
dieter loaded for me.

48
00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:54,585
Dieter?

49
00:01:54,679 --> 00:01:55,769
The German guy.

50
00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:59,164
You know, the
one I call das Booty.

51
00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:01,599
Anyway, can I
download your library?

52
00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:02,706
I'll stop staring
at your biscuits

53
00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:04,081
when you walk by.

54
00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:05,557
Man, with all the time and money

55
00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:06,557
I put into this,

56
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:07,668
if you want it, you're gonna

57
00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:08,562
have to pay for it.

58
00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:13,740
I never pay for it.

59
00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:14,999
Good morning.

60
00:02:15,091 --> 00:02:17,011
Hey, Mona. Why the long face?

61
00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:18,533
Did that creepy guy at the deli

62
00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:20,096
hit on you again?

63
00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:21,973
"Mona, I can make you happy.

64
00:02:22,054 --> 00:02:23,934
I love you."

65
00:02:24,013 --> 00:02:25,493
No, it's Dee Dee. She beat me

66
00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:26,930
at word whomp.

67
00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:28,836
Oh, that's rough.

68
00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:31,981
I'm surprised you
even got out of bed.

69
00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:33,414
I know it's not a
big deal to you,

70
00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:34,941
but it is to me.

71
00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:36,634
I mean, if I do 10
reps at the gym,

72
00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:37,981
Dee Dee's gotta do 20.

73
00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:38,900
If I get hit on,

74
00:02:38,984 --> 00:02:40,034
she gets proposed to.

75
00:02:40,116 --> 00:02:41,026
Our whole lives,

76
00:02:41,117 --> 00:02:42,417
she's always had to outdo me.

77
00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:48,654
Potato latke, mister?
Only 50 cents.

78
00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:51,083
Who knew?

79
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,411
Mona: And, of
course, you know who

80
00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:55,003
had to have her
own little stand.

81
00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:56,477
Gourmet cookie, mister?

82
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:58,047
I've got chocolate chip,

83
00:02:58,134 --> 00:03:00,184
chocolate chocolate chip,

84
00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:01,567
chocolate chip with pecans,

85
00:03:01,659 --> 00:03:03,049
white chocolate chip.

86
00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:04,049
How are my little

87
00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:05,010
businesswomen?

88
00:03:05,097 --> 00:03:07,357
Not good. I don't get it.

89
00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:09,008
My grandma Sophie
says her potato latkes

90
00:03:09,101 --> 00:03:11,321
are a hit at all our
hanukkah parties.

91
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:13,578
Well, I'll take 2.

92
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:21,940
Mmm!

93
00:03:22,027 --> 00:03:23,767
Here, mommy.

94
00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:26,115
Wash out the nasty
with some water.

95
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,596
I've got bottled water,

96
00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:28,815
water with lemon,

97
00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:31,994
water with lime, iced water...

98
00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:33,741
Dee Dee's always had to top me.

99
00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:34,652
And I've already given up on

100
00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:35,996
all the big stuff.

101
00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:37,365
She'll always be thinner
and younger than me.

102
00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:39,091
But now she's
moving in on my turf,

103
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:41,255
the worthless
trivia of daily life,

104
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:43,661
and I'm not having it.

105
00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:45,435
So beat her at something.

106
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:46,439
There's gotta be something

107
00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:47,750
you're better at.

108
00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:49,706
Wearing chunky shoes.

109
00:03:49,794 --> 00:03:52,014
Getting dumped by guys.

110
00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:54,671
Hiding things in your hair.

111
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:56,406
Ok, game over.

112
00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:58,327
♪ I'm begging baby ♪

113
00:03:58,412 --> 00:03:59,892
♪ baby I'm begging ♪

114
00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:02,678
♪ baby, I'm begging,
I'm begging, baby ♪

115
00:04:02,764 --> 00:04:06,464
♪ baby I'm begging,
baby, I'm begging ♪

116
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:07,900
♪ baby baby ♪

117
00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:09,676
All: ♪ ooh ♪

118
00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:11,991
♪ ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

119
00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:14,557
All right, Atlanta.

120
00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:16,205
♪ So that sounds real good ♪

121
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:18,039
♪ but I don't think
they heard, y'all ♪

122
00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:20,387
♪ oh, oh, oh ♪

123
00:04:20,477 --> 00:04:23,517
♪ ohh, ohh, ohh ♪

124
00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:26,271
♪ whoa ♪

125
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:28,313
Ok, let's eat.

126
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:29,178
What's that?

127
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,579
Bread, cheese, veggies.

128
00:04:31,662 --> 00:04:33,662
What? You invited me
down to make sandwiches,

129
00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:34,951
so I brought some things I knew

130
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:36,150
you wouldn't have.

131
00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:38,452
Like things to make sandwiches.

132
00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:39,929
Of course, you did.

133
00:04:40,018 --> 00:04:42,108
Ooh, Mona, I need your advice.

134
00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:44,684
Remember my law
professor Martin Wilkins?

135
00:04:44,762 --> 00:04:48,202
I remember you're in law school.

136
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:51,028
I love how close we've become.

137
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,696
Anyway, he's going
through a bitter divorce,

138
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:54,467
so some of the
students are taking turns

139
00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:55,425
entertaining him.

140
00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:56,562
This Friday is my turn,

141
00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:57,804
and I want my night to be better

142
00:04:57,819 --> 00:04:59,119
than anybody else's.

143
00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,081
Well, what does he like?

144
00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:02,690
Complaining about his wife,

145
00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:05,570
praising my superior
performance.

146
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:06,803
Hey, does he like to play cards?

147
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:07,918
How about poker?

148
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,003
It's hip, it's fun,

149
00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:10,011
and all the b-level celebrities

150
00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:11,222
are playing it?

151
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,311
And I know both Spencer

152
00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:13,485
and Adam play.

153
00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:14,884
Oh, yeah!

154
00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:16,206
I can impress professor Wilkins

155
00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:18,232
with my black
history playing cards.

156
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,358
Clarence Thomas is the joker.

157
00:05:25,977 --> 00:05:27,107
Hey, Mona.

158
00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:28,436
I brought a bag of photos of us

159
00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:29,552
from the eighties.

160
00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:30,743
Thought we'd put
'em in a scrapbook

161
00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:31,675
and call it

162
00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:34,456
"what were we thinking?"

163
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,071
I can't. I'm playing poker

164
00:05:36,161 --> 00:05:37,081
at Dee Dee's.

165
00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:38,342
Oh, I love poker.

166
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:40,205
Texas hold 'em is my game.

167
00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:41,876
Oh, sorry, mom. We're
playing a new game.

168
00:05:41,906 --> 00:05:44,296
It's called no mamas allowed.

169
00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:45,827
Come on, you gotta
let me in on this.

170
00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:46,907
Remember when I taught you

171
00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:48,168
how to play?

172
00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:49,500
Yeah, you told me
it would be more fun

173
00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:50,873
than watching TV.

174
00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:51,789
That's because
they had taken away

175
00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:53,223
our illegal cable box,

176
00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:54,879
and I had to entertain
you somehow.

177
00:05:54,963 --> 00:05:58,753
You'd eaten all your crayons.

178
00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:00,436
Well, I talked Dee
Dee into playing poker

179
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,670
so I could finally
beat her at something.

180
00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:05,063
Everything in my
life is starting to click.

181
00:06:05,147 --> 00:06:06,317
My hair is working,

182
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:07,849
I found a good lipstick color,

183
00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:09,192
and then Dee Dee goes and makes

184
00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:10,411
the perfect sandwich,

185
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,070
and I'm in a bad
mood for a week.

186
00:06:12,154 --> 00:06:13,944
That girl does make
a mean sandwich.

187
00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:15,635
Any leftovers?

188
00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,733
Look, I know that it's petty,

189
00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:18,992
but it bugs me,

190
00:06:19,074 --> 00:06:21,084
and I ate the whole thing.

191
00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:23,343
Of course it's petty.
It's what we do best.

192
00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:24,726
Is that something to brag about?

193
00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:26,469
If it's all you got.

194
00:06:32,609 --> 00:06:34,259
[Knock on door]

195
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,130
Oh, professor Wilkins.

196
00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:37,611
So glad you could make it.

197
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:38,751
Sorry I'm tardy.

198
00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:39,983
I had to take public transport

199
00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:41,788
with the unwashed masses.

200
00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:45,009
My soon-to-be-ex-wife
got the Lexus.

201
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,230
Do you have any scotch?
Preferably lagavulin.

202
00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:49,889
It's exceedingly rare.

203
00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:51,764
I just happen to have that.

204
00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:54,806
You would.

205
00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:56,202
Hey, guys.

206
00:06:56,285 --> 00:06:57,325
Hey, what's up, peoples?

207
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,807
This is my boy
maceo from college.

208
00:06:58,896 --> 00:06:59,896
I woulda brought junebug,

209
00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:03,074
but he's under house arrest.

210
00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:05,031
You brought Mr. Kiss and tell?

211
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,860
I sense a dark
and dirty back story.

212
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:08,428
Dish.

213
00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:09,855
There's nothing to tell.

214
00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:11,341
Mona and I hooked up in college.

215
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,041
I was happy. I wanted
to tell somebody.

216
00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:15,959
You got on a mic at a rally.

217
00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:17,064
They printed it in the paper

218
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:18,828
the next day.

219
00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:22,436
I didn't mean to
make you mad, girl.

220
00:07:33,191 --> 00:07:35,721
Chasing your tail, Phyllis?

221
00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,893
Did you learn that
from your cats?

222
00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:40,419
I guess we humans
do take after our pets.

223
00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:43,253
Your breath reminds me of coco.

224
00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:45,252
Why are you headed
up to my daughter's?

225
00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:47,684
They're playing poker,
but no mamas allowed,

226
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,561
and i'm tempted to crash.

227
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:50,753
Poor Phyllis, always going where

228
00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:53,084
you're not wanted.

229
00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:54,428
I'm going where the action is.

230
00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:56,127
Now, are you coming,
or are you afraid

231
00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:57,874
I might take you
to the cleaners?

232
00:07:57,955 --> 00:08:02,655
Like you've ever
been to the cleaners.

233
00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:05,306
You're in a good mood.

234
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:06,637
That's 'cause
we're playing poker.

235
00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:07,660
The game, Texas hold 'em,

236
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:08,838
the pot, no limit.

237
00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:10,973
Oh, professor,
your glass is empty.

238
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:12,575
More 1922 lagavulin?

239
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:13,666
Please.

240
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:17,504
I'll take some of that lagahula.

241
00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:18,674
I think you've had enough.

242
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:19,779
You know how you
talk too damn much

243
00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:21,073
when you drink.

244
00:08:21,152 --> 00:08:22,852
Mona, I wouldn't have
bragged to anybody

245
00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:24,497
if you hadn't been
such an animal in bed

246
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:27,807
and... i just did
it again, didn't I?

247
00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:31,418
I'm so glad you're here.

248
00:08:32,816 --> 00:08:33,896
Hello? Hello?

249
00:08:33,991 --> 00:08:34,911
What's this? A poker party?

250
00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:36,042
We want in.

251
00:08:36,124 --> 00:08:39,434
And we won't take
no for an answer.

252
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,779
Please, ladies, join us.

253
00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:42,568
What's 2 more women
taking money from me?

254
00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:44,022
You hit a lucky
streak, maybe you can

255
00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:45,045
win my pension,

256
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:47,313
since it's all I have left.

257
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:49,046
Single and morose.

258
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,007
Phyllis, this might be your

259
00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:51,104
lucky night.

260
00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:52,012
I hope you're not wearing your

261
00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:55,926
granny panties.

262
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,363
I'm out. I'm in.

263
00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:58,839
Come on, sixes.

264
00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:00,059
Man, you're the worst poker

265
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,888
player ever.

266
00:09:01,976 --> 00:09:06,016
Can I borrow some
cash? He's kicking my ass.

267
00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:06,980
No way.

268
00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:08,458
I'm out. I got a hand

269
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,458
like a foot.

270
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,989
You said it, not me. I fold.

271
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:13,603
Me, too.

272
00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:14,773
This is good.

273
00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:16,138
Why do they call
this liverwurst?

274
00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:20,654
They should call
this liver-best.

275
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:21,654
I'm out.

276
00:09:21,735 --> 00:09:22,995
Of the hand, of my marriage,

277
00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:25,134
of my house.

278
00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:27,606
I just want to crawl
into a hole and die.

279
00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:30,657
Phyllis, I think he's flirting.

280
00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:32,144
So, Spence, it's
just you and me,

281
00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:33,493
and you're out of money.

282
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,793
But I will let you bet
your music play list.

283
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,930
Done.

284
00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:40,583
Let's see the river.

285
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:43,187
Yay! 4 sixes!

286
00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:47,018
Ha ha ha! Come to papa.

287
00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:49,068
Beat by a guy in a man-scarf.

288
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:52,553
It's a dark day.

289
00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:53,935
This is it, Dee Dee.

290
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,268
I've been waitin'
for this all night.

291
00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:56,350
I see your bet, and I raise you

292
00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:57,638
everything I got.

293
00:09:57,727 --> 00:10:01,297
Go for it, baby. Make
your mama proud.

294
00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:02,383
Call.

295
00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:05,387
Straight, Jack high.

296
00:10:05,474 --> 00:10:08,744
Oh, and I only have
5 pretty red ones.

297
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:10,865
Flush beats a straight.
Well played, Dee.

298
00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:12,518
What? But how?

299
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:13,832
Well, after the flop,

300
00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,417
there was a possible
straight on the table.

301
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:16,680
Then when you
didn't raise on the turn,

302
00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:18,573
I got to see the
river for free and win.

303
00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:20,231
Mona says you didn't play poker.

304
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:21,795
I don't except when I had

305
00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:24,412
that private tutor
in monte Carlo.

306
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:26,103
Did I not mention that?

307
00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:28,540
All: No.

308
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,058
The girl is a
ruthless competitor.

309
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:32,891
Dee Dee Thorne
would eat her young.

310
00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:37,770
I wish my in-laws had done that.

311
00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:38,884
Well, you know what, Dee Dee?

312
00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:39,639
This is the last time

313
00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:40,726
that I play with you

314
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:41,790
because you always have to win,

315
00:10:41,815 --> 00:10:42,815
and you always have to be

316
00:10:42,903 --> 00:10:43,693
better than me.

317
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:45,083
That's not true.

318
00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:47,466
And it's "i," better than "I."

319
00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,779
Well, I, I, I don't give a damn.

320
00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:55,736
That's it.

321
00:10:55,829 --> 00:11:00,359
No, that's it.

322
00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:04,492
You must be very proud.

323
00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:11,062
Mona Thorne, stop right there.

324
00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:12,498
What the hell was that?

325
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:13,894
Well, I can't take it anymore.

326
00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:15,327
I thought I'd
found the one thing

327
00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:16,893
to help even the
score with Dee Dee,

328
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:19,550
and then she turns
around and kicks my ass.

329
00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:21,715
She did do that.

330
00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:22,861
But we are in the middle

331
00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:23,943
of a war here,

332
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:25,097
and you do not just give up.

333
00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:26,119
It's the haves versus the

334
00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:27,213
have-nots.

335
00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:30,115
Well, I know which
side we're on.

336
00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:31,361
Look, this is bigger than you.

337
00:11:31,386 --> 00:11:33,036
I've had hot hands all night,

338
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:34,217
and I still have a chance

339
00:11:34,302 --> 00:11:35,482
to take down a Dee Dee.

340
00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:38,004
So you march
your sorry, sour ass

341
00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:39,088
back up those stairs,

342
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:40,833
and support your have-not mama.

343
00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:44,089
Luck be a lady tonight,

344
00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:45,051
and that lady is me.

345
00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:46,359
I am in.

346
00:11:46,444 --> 00:11:48,494
Oh, a bold move by lady Dee.

347
00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:49,857
Does she have a good poker face,

348
00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:52,886
or Botox paralysis?

349
00:11:52,973 --> 00:11:56,543
Only her plastic
surgeon knows for sure.

350
00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:58,238
Too rich for my blood.

351
00:11:58,326 --> 00:11:59,496
Thank you, Dee Dee.

352
00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:01,018
Tonight was a lovely distraction

353
00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:03,591
from my hellish life.

354
00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:05,199
You get an "a"
for entertainment.

355
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:06,809
But the intensity
of the older broads

356
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,290
is a bit much.

357
00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:12,508
But professor, I have cake.

358
00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:13,711
It's probably chocolate with

359
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,913
brown nose frosting.

360
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:17,646
I'd take it to go,
but I'm sure my wife

361
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,167
would take that, too.

362
00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:20,440
Which is why I'm going home

363
00:12:20,522 --> 00:12:24,532
to Bury my golf
clubs in the yard.

364
00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:26,273
And so, he leaves,

365
00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:29,494
another black man
broke by the system.

366
00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:32,965
Now it's up to motown mama.

367
00:12:33,056 --> 00:12:35,576
Will she call? Will she raise?

368
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:37,027
Will she slap you
upside your heads

369
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:39,110
if you don't shut up?

370
00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:41,983
And it stings for days.

371
00:12:42,065 --> 00:12:45,585
I see you, and I raise you.

372
00:12:45,677 --> 00:12:47,847
I don't seem to
have enough chips.

373
00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:50,731
I'll call with this.

374
00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:55,043
Oh, oh, your credit's no
good here, man hands.

375
00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:57,652
I guess you can't afford
to play anymore, huh?

376
00:12:57,733 --> 00:12:58,803
The only thing I can't afford

377
00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:00,131
is to lose to the likes of you.

378
00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:01,484
Mom, what are you doing?

379
00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:02,693
That is your wedding ring.

380
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,222
Dee Dee, this is
war. Watch and learn.

381
00:13:05,306 --> 00:13:07,916
Full house. Queens over kings.

382
00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:09,404
That's a good hand, but too bad

383
00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:10,924
it's not good enough.

384
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:12,967
Full house, aces over kings.

385
00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:14,623
But more importantly,

386
00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:19,096
Phyllis over "big Dee Dee
don't got no ring no more."

387
00:13:19,189 --> 00:13:21,499
You are not seriously
going to take my ring?

388
00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:26,113
Oh, it doesn't get any
more serious than this.

389
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:30,066
Oh, now, that's weight
I don't mind gaining.

390
00:13:30,157 --> 00:13:31,247
You keep the chips.

391
00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:33,602
I got the rock.

392
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:36,989
Dee Dee: Mom?

393
00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:38,077
I'm fine, dear. I'm fine.

394
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:39,511
It's just a ring.

395
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:40,651
Can I stay here with you?

396
00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:42,782
Just until your father dies?

397
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:49,484
♪ Take one half,
I'll take the other ♪

398
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:53,087
♪ and just like that,
we're drawn together ♪

399
00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:56,100
♪ I know sometimes
we might fight ♪

400
00:13:56,183 --> 00:14:00,273
♪ but hopefully
it's nice tonight ♪

401
00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:06,981
♪ and I don't try
to say it's easy ♪

402
00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:08,353
Maybe I'm crazy,
but it sounds like

403
00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:10,629
she's singing about
me and my sister.

404
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:12,289
Yeah, kinda.

405
00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:15,163
I can't concentrate.

406
00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:17,115
I still can't believe
Dee Dee beat me.

407
00:14:17,204 --> 00:14:18,994
Ah, you still
trippin' about that?

408
00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:21,425
Well, what could I
have done differently?

409
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:23,992
Play better?

410
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,650
I'm serious.

411
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:27,954
Well, you play from the gut.

412
00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:29,961
Dee Dee calculates,
barely moves a muscle.

413
00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:31,443
Except when she tucks her hair

414
00:14:31,522 --> 00:14:32,652
behind her ears.

415
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:36,181
I noticed that 'cause
it's damn sexy.

416
00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:38,786
Well, I noticed it 'cause
it's damn annoying.

417
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,658
Along with my constant losing.

418
00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:41,899
In fact, it seems
that every time

419
00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:42,844
she tucked her hair back,

420
00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:45,145
I lost.

421
00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:47,452
Hey, do you know
what this means?

422
00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:51,018
Dee Dee's sexy
and you're a loser?

423
00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:52,497
Dee Dee has a tell.

424
00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:54,807
She tucks when
she has a good hand.

425
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,034
And now that I know that,

426
00:14:56,112 --> 00:15:01,292
guess who's making
a poker comeback?

427
00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:05,378
You better just tell me.

428
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:10,520
Hey, like the new outfit

429
00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:13,825
I bought to match my ring?

430
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,393
Ok, mom, you've had your fun

431
00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:16,959
and you made big Dee Dee sweat,

432
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:18,496
but there's no way
that you can keep that.

433
00:15:18,526 --> 00:15:19,546
That's what your father said

434
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:20,440
about the washer and dryer when

435
00:15:20,528 --> 00:15:21,568
I divorced him,

436
00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:24,229
but it's still
workin', ain't it?

437
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:27,014
That's not the point.

438
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,450
Mona, we've decided to

439
00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:29,536
take you up

440
00:15:29,624 --> 00:15:30,784
on your request for a rematch.

441
00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:31,579
It's only fair that my mother

442
00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:32,499
get a chance to win her

443
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:33,583
ring back.

444
00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:34,541
Oh, my god! She's wearing it!

445
00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:36,239
And with that outfit.

446
00:15:36,326 --> 00:15:38,016
Rematch? What rematch?

447
00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:40,291
I set up another game
'cause you're on a roll.

448
00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:41,534
Besides, remember the big speech

449
00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:42,609
you gave me about the haves

450
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,067
and the have-nots?

451
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:44,990
Wake up, curly. The have-nots

452
00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:48,474
have it.

453
00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:49,916
And wouldn't you
like some earrings

454
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,209
to go with it?

455
00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:53,779
Now you're talking.

456
00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:55,385
Ok, it's on.

457
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:56,776
I'm gonna win your jewelry

458
00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:57,998
and your car, too.

459
00:15:58,087 --> 00:16:00,387
You can keep the little man.

460
00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:05,701
Oh, come on, big girl.

461
00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:06,700
We ain't got all day.

462
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:07,971
Lay 'em or play 'em.

463
00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:09,054
They win a few hands

464
00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:09,928
and suddenly we're playing with

465
00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:11,452
the wu tang clan.

466
00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:12,925
What's the matter,
can't run with

467
00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:14,095
the high rollers?

468
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:15,630
Oh, Phyllis, as if your thighs

469
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:16,713
allow you to run

470
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:19,071
without starting a flash fire.

471
00:16:19,152 --> 00:16:22,332
I fold.

472
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:25,246
I call and I raise you.

473
00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:26,722
Why are you staring at my hair?

474
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:29,681
Oh, no reason.
So, you wanna play.

475
00:16:29,771 --> 00:16:33,041
Well, I will pay to
see what you've got.

476
00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:36,262
I got... A whole lot

477
00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:37,393
of nothing.

478
00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:40,004
Yes, take that,
miss Tiffany law.

479
00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:41,406
You'll probably be
sore in the morning

480
00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:42,665
since you're not used to flexing

481
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:45,437
your loser muscle.

482
00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:46,956
Coupon-clippers up one.

483
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:50,529
High-falutin fools
down 7 carats.

484
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,398
All right, we get it. You won.

485
00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:53,839
Oh, I don't think you do get it,

486
00:16:53,925 --> 00:16:58,885
cause we won. We won.

487
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,850
[Knock on door]

488
00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:04,114
What are you doing?

489
00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:08,897
When I feel down, I paraffin.

490
00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:10,904
Look, I'm sorry for
what I said in there.

491
00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:11,896
It should've been enough

492
00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:12,987
that I beat you.

493
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,642
I just... I got carried away.

494
00:17:14,729 --> 00:17:18,909
It was an ugly
side of you, Mona.

495
00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:20,604
Believe me, when I saw my mother

496
00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:22,001
take it to a whole
'nother level,

497
00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:24,524
I realized just how ugly it was.

498
00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:27,438
Why is beating me
so important to you?

499
00:17:27,524 --> 00:17:28,964
'Cause it's absolutely no fun

500
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,438
always losing to you.

501
00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:33,048
And you're so damn competitive.

502
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,179
I am not competitive.

503
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:38,450
I just can't stand losing.

504
00:17:38,535 --> 00:17:40,575
If I'm not the best,
then what am I?

505
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,498
Like everybody else.

506
00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:47,283
Mona, I feel bad enough already.

507
00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:49,680
Wow, this thing is deep for you.

508
00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:50,944
I mean, you're in competition

509
00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:52,286
with the whole world,

510
00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:54,025
not just me.

511
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:55,676
I guess I'm the one
who made it personal

512
00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:57,160
all these years.

513
00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:58,340
Well, stop doing that.

514
00:17:58,425 --> 00:18:00,945
It's just dragging you down.

515
00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:02,726
Mona, this is who I am,

516
00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:04,080
and there's no shaking it.

517
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:06,350
I have no idea where I get it.

518
00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:07,873
Listen up, there's
still a battle

519
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:09,176
going on out there.

520
00:18:09,262 --> 00:18:10,542
And as long as I have
breath in my body,

521
00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:12,567
and my ring's on that
scarecrow's finger,

522
00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:15,176
we keep playing.

523
00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:19,098
I said we keep playing!

524
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:23,055
Ok, maybe I have
an inkling where

525
00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:25,145
it comes from.

526
00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:28,374
We all have our burdens to bear.

527
00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:29,605
And you know it's
wrong for your burden

528
00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:30,500
to be wearing my burden's

529
00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:32,367
wedding ring.

530
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,029
Well, what can we do?

531
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,853
I tried talking my
mom into giving it back,

532
00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:39,210
but she threatened
to swallow it.

533
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,419
I'm all in, and it looks like

534
00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:43,471
your winning streak
has come to an end.

535
00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:47,387
What're you gonna do, call? Cry?

536
00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:50,834
Well, I got 5 bucks
and an altoid left.

537
00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:51,962
Ma?

538
00:18:52,043 --> 00:18:54,053
I don't have any money.

539
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,143
Well, what about the ring?

540
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:59,752
What about it?

541
00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:02,714
Look at my cards. I'm
gonna clean her out.

542
00:19:02,793 --> 00:19:03,973
I haven't even shown this off

543
00:19:04,055 --> 00:19:05,705
at my parents without
partners meeting.

544
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,316
Ma, you only go for the free

545
00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:08,317
coffee and pie.

546
00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:09,708
Fork it over.

547
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,060
Oh, I'm sorry. I can't seem

548
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,370
to get it off.

549
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:16,066
Aces and Jacks.

550
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,365
3 kings. Read 'em and weep.

551
00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:19,511
Give me back my bling.

552
00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:20,943
I don't wanna.

553
00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:22,139
I have a hacksaw in my trunk,

554
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,381
and I'm not afraid to use it.

555
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:25,687
I'd make you cut it off,

556
00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:29,303
but it's not the finger
I wanna give you.

557
00:19:34,347 --> 00:19:36,127
Your performance was wonderful.

558
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,568
So was yours.

559
00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:39,354
Was it hard being
on that swollen hand?

560
00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:40,879
Oh, my god! How does she

561
00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:42,752
stretch out platinum?

562
00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:50,668
Dude, you've had
my music for days.

563
00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:54,194
Give it back.

564
00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:58,889
Adam, what did you do?

565
00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:01,370
Man, there's nothing
on here but... but...

566
00:20:01,461 --> 00:20:05,641
[imitates techno music]

567
00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:06,936
What's up with that?

568
00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,401
Ok, I tried to put
your play list on mine,

569
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:09,864
but somehow dieter's dance mix

570
00:20:09,947 --> 00:20:11,247
got on yours instead.

571
00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:15,078
You deleted my entire library?

572
00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:18,040
How do you wanna die?

573
00:20:18,129 --> 00:20:20,959
In a hot tub with Jackie chan.

574
00:20:21,045 --> 00:20:24,045
Aah! Hurting! Hurting! Hurting!

575
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,550
Woman: Woohoo! [Giggles]

576
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:53,150
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